1. Recall a situation in which you were offered a suggestion, advice, or criticism and you reacted defensively.

• almost 2 months ago I went on a mision trip and it changed the way that I look at life. after I got home a friend commented on the fact that I seemed to have changed and then seemed to sign off on communitcating because to him it seemed like I didn't want to talk. I took this defensively and thought that he meant it as a suggestion that I didn't feel like talking so he didn't want to talk to me anymore.
• What caused the reaction?

 

        ~the fact that it sounded like he didn't want to talk to me anymore because I had changed

• What attributions did you make about the other person's comment?

 

            ~I took his words the wrong way by thinking that he didn't want to talk to me again because I had changed some

• What were the interpersonal outcomes of your defensive communication?

 

            ~ethics-I didn't treat him very ethically in the way that I ignored him for several days because I was hurt, I treated him unfairly    for not trying to resolve the problem sooner
            ~appropriateness-my reaction was not very appropriate in the way that I immediately went to the defensive and didn't try to work out the issue
            ~effectiveness-if my goal had beento lose a good friend this conversation would have been very effective, otherwise it was an ineffective conversation to have

• How could you have prevented a defensive response?

 

            ~I could lhave asked him more about why he felt that way and not have taken a leap right to the defensive side
            ~he could have just been giving me something to think about and instead I got all defensive and mad at him

2.  Who am I always eager to pay attention to?
    ~my nephews~

• What makes these individuals salient for you?

 

            ~they are young and impressionable and just make it fun to be around them and to listen to them

• How do they differ from people to whom you find it difficult to pay attention?

 

            ~since they are my nephews and all 5 or under I have to pay close attention to them because they are harder to understand
            ~also I relate and get along better with younger kids, I enjoy spending time with them

• What does your answer suggest about the factors that drive your attention?

 

            ~maybe I need to get out more and spend some time with people my own age and then maybe I will learn to start enjoying having conversations with them